"Linking behavior is a way of behavior that tends to establish or maintain proximity to a loved one, a home or a specific person ... Linking behavior is especially evident in early childhood, but we can assume that it marks and seals human beings from cradle to grave" John Bowlby (1979, 29).

More recently, the recognition that confidential and safe interpersonal relationships is the most powerful source of personal satisfaction, emotional balance and personal growth, and the most effective protection against stress (Tomaž Erzar Katarina Kompan Erzar 2011, 7), is becoming more and more frequent in recent times. Emotional connection calms fear and gives us security, works us resistant, durable and flexible, strengthens the sense of ability and efficiency, and ultimately belovedness. Such relations are needed by everyone, since the absence or lack of these relationships leads to emotional isolation and traumatic loneliness (Tomaž Erzar Katarina Kompan Erzar 2011, 7)

The relationship between matter and child is a natural beginning of emotional connection. In all cultures, maternal love has a strong emotional and symbolic meaning that goes beyond bare birth and care for the child's physical survival. Sometimes the lack of such love equates with severe pain and error so that only death can comfort them. The theory of attachment, represented by Tomaž Erzar, is the first theory of modern human science that evaluated maternal love and showed that it was not only the need or the desire of the mother after contact with the child, nor the need for a baby for food and survival, but for their mutual relationship, emotional connection and mutual love. The theory interrupted the tradition, which imposed the child on negative or uncivilized inclinations and denied the child's experience. Slowly, but steadily, it stimulated global shifts in our understanding of human relationships, primarily childhood and parenthood, then adult intimate relationships and, finally, the sense of life (Tomaž Erzar Katarina Kompan Erzar 2011, 7).


Bonding is not an advance, a child's need or a sign of weakness and addiction is a natural condition for human development, creativity and self-fulfillment.

Of course, it is the way to relationships in which we can safely connect to our fellowmen, sometimes long and hard. The biggest obstacle on the way is the experience of past relationships that lead individuals to enter into relationships with a very narrow and often distorted way of regulating their emotional states and content, and a rigid way of connecting and seeking proximity. That the world is dangerous and that people will not come to the aid of one another, and that they should not be trusted, from the aspect of attachment is not a fact, but a sedentary of past negative experiences, which enclose the individual in a narrow way of thinking and emotion, and a narrow circle of relations with one and the same by the type of people in the same way. Based on the fundamental pioneering research on the attachment between the mother (or guardian) and the child, carried out in the 1950s, 1960s and 1970s in Great Britain and the United States, the theory of attachment in the last three decades has revealed long-term interpersonal, intergenerational and inter-psychiatric aspects relationships. For the first time, research has shown clearly that growing up in a safe, lasting and emotionally tuned relationship with the mother is closely related to the healthy development of neurobiological systems of emotional response and regulation of the affects in the child's brain (Tomaž Erzar Katarina Kompan Erzar 2011, 9).




After 50 years of research and observation of attachment, we know that the child's sense of security and protection is at least as important for his emotional and social development as his actual safety is important for his survival. The development of this feeling is directly related to the quality of relationships between parents. Safe attachment to parents is the most important factor for children's healthy emotional development and well-being. When it is threatened, frightened or under stress, it uses a child in the first year of his / her parents or his primary caregiver for a safe haven, which means that he seeks his physical proximity and emotional support. When it calms down, it uses an administrator for a safe starting point, from where it explores the surroundings and follows its desires. The child can be connected to any adult who is responsive to him and is consistent in his or her favor in the period between the sixth month and the second year of age, whereby in addition to the family with the child of survival, the quality of the relationship is important. Most often, this person is his biological mother (Tomaž Erzar Katarina Kompan Erzar 2011, 14). In our work, however, we will especially be interested in how the quality of a relationship with a father is important in the later age compared to the establishment of an individual's self-image.

Regarding the concept of attachment, it is necessary to define the importance of cohesion, which in normal use denotes emotional ties between parents and children that are knit from birth to the next, and are perceived as more or less close, deep or intense. Unlike this loose and popular use, the notion of attachment denotes the child's experience of parenting and a sense of security, which means that a child can feel uncertain, despite the apparent connection with them, and can not rely on them. Children need a close person to whom they will relate, in order to get a sense of being safe and protected. In relation to attachment, there will be a matching of two components: on the one hand, the child's need for safety and protection and safe shelter, on the other, the ability of parents to offer a timely and appropriate response to these children's needs. Affective behavior is most evident when a child is in need because of illness, physical injuries or danger (Tomaž Erzar Katarina Kompan Erzar 2011, 14). At that time, the parents will attempt to swing, hold them, or cling to their lap and climb onto them, thus giving them the knowledge that they need comfort and help. It is also likely that he will try to recall them and warn them by crying, crying or screaming (Tomaž Erzar Katarina Kompan Erzar 2011, 15).


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